Ageing Series - Death Anxiety
Existential philosophers regard death, quite rightly, as an inevitable existential given. It cannot be avoided and affects all humans. Death does not discriminate by wealth, ethnicity, nationality, sexuality etc – it comes to us all. In this way it has often been seen as the great equalizer. We all have the same fate, in the end. This inevitability, some philosophers argue, is the fundamental driving force for our motivations and actions in life. They would argue that everything we do, consciously, is based around avoiding considering death, or an attempt to stave off death. However, it's inevitability, is what causes anxiety.
So how do we manage, psychologically, this constant looming fate? In a number of ways: attempting to live beyond our death, attempting to prevent death and denial. Let’s take each in turn.
To live beyond our death, is to believe our name will continue to be relevant for years to come after we pass away. This is most commonly seen through people’s endeavours. If someone attempts to gain a world record in athletics, climb a mountain never climbed before, discover a new element or accepted theory, write a successful book, become famous etc. All of these are ways that will guarantee our name will live on beyond our death. There are arguments for these achievements for themselves, perhaps someone believes their goal isn’t to manage their death anxiety, but to improve human achievement, advance our knowledge, or simply to earn money to enjoy their life while they have it. But can we really know that the underlying motive isn’t driven by the fear of death? Surely not, and anyone who considers this deeply may well come to the conclusion that they do not know, and cannot say for sure that it isn’t so.
With the demise of religious belief and its elements that attempt to alleviate such anxieties, perhaps as a culture we have become more obsessed with fame as a way of dealing with death anxiety. Fame can be achieved with little endeavour and ability today and the mechanisms for it are celebrated and encouraged through television viewership – think of shows such as Big Brother, Ex On The Beach and all the other multitude of reality TV, why is it so popular? Is it because the idea that one can achieve fame so easily, and thus live past their death, is relieving to us? Does this cause a mass desire for such fame, resulting in a thin underwhelming meaning in life?
Attempting to prevent death, on the surface, looks like healthy living. To exercise, eat healthy, avoid toxic substances etc are also all ways to live well in the present. But, if these actions are motivated by a fear of death, as oppose to a desire to thrive, then they can become obsessive, irrational and negatively impactful on our mental health. To eat health is hugely important to your physical and mental health, but to constantly track your macronutrients, and micronutrients, to ensure you are achieving all your nutrition goals, as well as constantly avoiding any unhealthy food, or berating yourself for eating it, is not good for your mental health. Such actions are clearly motivated by a fear of death. The same could be said for obsessive hand cleaning and a fear of germs. These are ways of being that can be passed on to children too.
Lastly, denial. This can be seen through an inability to accept ageing – Botox, plastic surgery, hair dye, constantly having partners much younger than yourself and even attempting to live a forced “younger” lifestyle. These things may not be motivated by such a fear, but until that motivation is truly explored, it is unknown. To live in a such a way is to live in denial of your age and, therefore, proximity to death. To be unconscious of this fear, means it drives your actions without you even knowing it. It controls you. To become self-aware of our fear of death, is to gain control over our actions.
In the next part in this Ageing Series, we will look at the power of perspective.